Diary of an autistic boy: Federico: “I go crazy in traffic”
Being a hypersensitive person on a sensorial level, a very common characteristic among us autistic people even if with different nuances, is a very advantageous condition when you are in the peace of nature, because it allows you to clearly and strongly grasp perceptive nuances about the surrounding world and this which consequently happens in one’s mind and body, experiential dimensions that seem to me to be closed to non-autistics. The sensory perception of non-autistics appears to me not only less intense but perhaps even simplified. However, this beautiful characteristic of mine turns into a problem when sensorial exposure becomes excessive, as happens for example in the traffic of large cities.
Noises I can’t stand
My first problem in traffic are noises and particularly those of high volume or high pitch or sudden, that is, those that happen when they are unexpected for me and therefore I am not mentally prepared. When these three characteristics manifest themselves together, the effect on me is devastating, for example in the case of ambulance or police sirens. In these cases, I lose control of myself and without even wanting to, I find myself with my hands covering my ears and screaming. The second sensory stress caused to me by traffic is visual because there are too many vehicles and pedestrians moving in different directions and at different speeds, with motions that are all independent of each other and this is very confusing for my mind. It’s as if my mind, so inclined to detail and so little to the overall vision, was trying to follow every single motion separately but without succeeding and remaining as if stuck in the effort. The traffic then, and especially in summer, is full of terrible smells that cause me olfactory stress.
An acoustic sensory attack
I must also say that being under acoustic, olfactory and visual sensory attack at the same time is a devastating mix and so I seek refuge in my stereotypes, a safe world for me where I could never lose control of myself. Not that I mind being hypersensory, it’s just that I should live by a lake, by the sea or near the woods and in any case a little outside of population centers. But I think even those who aren’t autistic like me would like this. More and more people dream of stillness that is not empty but full of stimuli to perceive and all of them wonderfully low intensity.
